Bolu (25) shares how her dream of transferring to the UK for a grasp’s stage turned into a nightmare of debt, desperation, and selections she by no come imagined she’d build.
Let’s begin from the starting save. Why did you progress to the UK?
Truthfully? I turned into once tired. Of all the pieces. Nigeria turned into once draining me. I upright wished the next existence. Folks around me were japa-ing and posting photographs in iciness jackets.
I wanted that. I wanted to be in a country where things worked and where “cramped work” could well give you extensive money.
So I utilized for a grasp’s in 2023. Took a loan, sold my dad’s land (he didn’t know), and paid the deposit. The opinion turned into once straight forward: salvage to the UK, salvage a job — any job — and hustle my come via.
Changed into it easy adjusting?
Adjusting turned into once the least of my problems. The cold didn’t even shock me — what scared me turned into once the silence. Silence from job functions. From emails. From all the other people that promised to abet me once I landed.
I turned into once making spend of esteem aroused — cleaner, dishwasher, nanny, anything. But the 20-hour student visa restrict kept getting into into the come. Employers didn’t need to chance it.
Meanwhile, my rent turned into once due, college turned into once sending reminders, and I turned into once watching my money attain esteem recordsdata in Nigeria.
When did it begin to feel esteem things were falling apart?
About three months in. My college despatched a warning: “You’re at the attend of for your tuition. You will be withdrawn.” That identical week, I got a message from dwelling.
My younger brother turned into once sick, and my mum wanted money. I had nothing to ship.
I take into account sitting in my room, staring at my reflection, questioning if I made the supreme mistake of my existence. I couldn’t consume. Couldn’t pray. I turned into once upright… stuck.
What came about subsequent?
A girl I met at a Nigerian occasion — let’s name her Bisi — seen I turned into once at all times moody and withdrawn. One evening, she asked me, “Babe, you wan hustle for proper otherwise you soundless dey invent?” I didn’t understand what she supposed originally.
Then she told me a pair of “consumer” who turned into once procuring for a younger sad lady for the evening. She talked about he’ll pay effectively. £300 for two hours. I told her I wasn’t a prostitute.
She upright laughed and talked about, “Omo, you better salvage up. This country no salvage sympathy.”
That evening, I didn’t sleep. But I talked about certain.
How did you are feeling after your first consumer?
Numb. Soiled. Ashamed. But when the money hit my story, I cried. No longer tears of joy — tears of survival. Because for the first time in weeks, I could well breathe.
I paid segment of my fees. Sold groceries. Even despatched my mum £50 and told her I turned into once doing babysitting.
That turned into once the starting save.
How long did it plod on?
It’s been over a year now. I’ve considered married males, white males, males who scent esteem cigarettes and feel sorry about. Some are form.
Some are tough. Some don’t need condoms. These are the ones that build me feel esteem I’m death slowly.
I handiest lisp myself I’m doing it for faculty. For survival. But some days, I surprise who I’m changing into. The mirror doesn’t lie.
I’m no longer the lady who left Lagos in 2023. That lady turned into once hopeful. This one? She upright needs to salvage via the month.
Raise out you feel sorry about transferring to the UK?
Be apologetic about is too light of a note. But I additionally know I’m no longer the handiest one. I’ve met women who came here with first class degrees and are now working as strippers, escorts, or “sugar babies.”
We smile in photographs and put up our pretty iciness coats, but nobody is aware of the darkness underneath.
What would you reveal to someone planning to japa?
Birth your eyes. Don’t upright gape at TikTok and Instagram. Put a attach aside a question to to hard questions. Where will you dwell? Who will strengthen you? What’s going to you lift out if you don’t salvage a job in the first three months? Japa is no longer a miracle — it’s warfare.
