In case you’re single in Lagos and actively trying to this point, God’s energy to you. Because this streets no be beans..
Finally you’re talking every night, exchanging “indulge in you eaten?” texts and dropping inside jokes love you’re building a future collectively. Next day? They dash ghost love NEPA during thunderstorm
No fight, no wahala—ethical stout disappearance. They’ve long gone from “correct morning, babe” to posting “snug lifestyles” captions with any person else in the background.
This city will humble you emotionally.
Dating in Lagos is now not dating. It’s principally vibes, confusion, and top charge talking stages that by no scheme attain any destination.
You’re either being managed, saved on sustain, or weak to “circulation time” sooner than they determine for any person else.
And at the same time as you are trying and DTR (Define The Relationship)? Network dash all right away hang.
What Is the Talking Stage Anyway?
Let’s define it for the individuals in the help:
Talking stage=that awkward duration where you’re vibing, emotionally investing, but now not formally dating.
No titles. No labels. Correct “correct morning” texts and snug promises love, “I love where that is going.”
But spoiler alert: it now not regularly ever goes anywhere.
Lagos Dating Tradition: Correct Vibes and Inshallah
Lagos is posthaste. The individuals? Even faster.
Work stress, corrupt traffic, unrealistic expectations, sight strain from snug lifestyles crew, and the scare of being served breakfast… it’s loads.
So in immediately time and age, the general public ethical need the companionship—but with out the wahala of actual commitment.
You’ll hear:
- “Let’s now not scoot things”
- “I’m now not ready, but I love you”
- “I’m focusing on myself” (but they accrued need you around at night)
Every person looks to be forming take a seat again, but deep down? It’s vibes and manipulation with a sprinkle of bewilderment. And whenever you occur to invent the error of catching feelings too fleet? Remark—you’re all right away “too deep,” “too emotional,” or “doing too mighty.”
Meanwhile, they’re those who known as you “infant” on day two.
Every person Has Suggestions—Too Many Suggestions
Let’s be correct—dating apps indulge in made it straightforward to rotate individuals love playlist songs.
Whereas you’re saving their disclose indicate love it’s a podcast, they’re replying “with admire emoji” to a pair of totally different individuals. Emotional connection now feels love a contest.
In this economic system, persons are dating for consideration, now not intention.
Ghosting Is Now a Treasure Language
In Lagos, ghosting is the brand new “It’s now not you, it’s me.”
One minute you’re planning date night, the following minute they’ve disappeared, posted seaside pics, and blocked you from seeing their account.
No fight. No warning. Correct vibes and long gone.
Situationships: Romantic Purgatory
You’ve met their mates. You talk each day. You believe couple things. But inquire what that is and all right away, community dey.
Many Lagosians are stuck in situationships on account of:
- They don’t are looking to be by myself
- They’re insecure of commitment
- Or they’re waiting for something better to attain along
Why Americans Close (Even When It’s No longer Going Wherever)
- Hope: “Perchance they’ll attain around”
- Loneliness: “No longer now not up to I’m now not by myself”
- Chemistry: “However the connection is indignant!”
- Comfort: “I don’t are looking to initiate over again”
Veritably, it’s less complicated to cease in limbo than to initiate from scratch.
Lagos dating is a jungle. But whenever you occur to cease fine to yourself, dwelling boundaries, and offer protection to your peace, you’ll be fine.
Until then, might perhaps also merely your talking stages attain with route—and never ethical knowledge consumption
